Where is My B-B Gun?

When I was very young I had my tonsils removed. The only memory I have of this event is lots of ice cream and receiving a brand new B-B gun.

Would Osawatomie be as much fun? Only time would tell. Osawatomie has a patient capacity of around 300 and the annual budget is $40 million dollars. It is one of three state-operated mental hospitals.There are other programs such as Four County that also serve the crazy s and near-crazy s. Health care is big business and the crazy end of it is a mega-million dollar tax eater.

Local police departments are a good and dependable source of customers for the mental health industry. The OSH admissions office is open 24 hours a day and I had a theory that the later at night they brought someone in, the more fucked up that person was, present company excepted.

I was assigned a dormitory that probably held 60 people. The place was bright and clean, though not airy because the doors were always locked. Some inmates were allowed to walk to the cafeteria for meals, but hardened criminals such as Yours Truly were never allowed outside.

Everyone was medicated daily from one to three times. I wondered if the "Walkers" were perhaps over-medicated, perhaps on purpose.

They gave me a wheelchair when I first arrived and this would become a sore spot with the Big Cheese later on. The nurses and attendants were very nice and the food was alright. Fish and chicken were invariably overcooked.

Once in jest I ask a nurse if I could go outside and chase rabbits in my wheelchair and she told me there weren't any bunnies on the hospital grounds. The resident foxes had apparently decimated the weaker species. Nature imitating life.

Either the first or second day I was given a personalized schedule that listed where I was to go and when. Most of the activities were group Drug and Alcohol therapy sessions. The sessions got kind of boring but the alternative was to join a group of uncommunicative patients and stare out the window. A subset of this group were the "Walkers" who spent their entire day walking in circles of various dimensions. The "Walkers" never spoke so they didn't rate too high as friends or companions.

My Interdisciplinary Treatment Plan (schedule)listed my daily activities and also Treatment Plan Goals. The goals were as follows;

G-1 Will report absence of hallucinations for 5 consecutive days.
G-2 Will demonstrate an interest in addiction recovery by making daily positive statements about living.
Discharge criteria-Will demonstrate stabilization of psychotic symptoms (e.g.hallucinations, delusions, confusion, agitation) by reporting when asked, an absence of symptoms for 5 consecutive days.

This seemed like a piece of cake. Be a good boy for 5 days and walk out the front door. My court-appointed lawyer had called maybe the second day and introduced herself. She told me they usually didn't keep people but just a few days and gave me her phone number. The was the last I ever heard from my her.

A few days passed and some of the information on my schedule changed. What really caught my attention was my release date. I was admitted on 4/5 and now I got to stay until at least 4/23. Big Whoop!!

And they added to my treatment goals. Kept the old ones and now:

G-3 Will cooperate with recommended evaluation, procedures and treatment for lower extremity weakness ( I assume this was physical therapy but it never happened)

G-4 Will sustain no injury falls during hospitalization at OSH.

My psychiatric treatment consisted of a weekly fifteen minute "Meet & Greet" with a confrontational psychologist (The Big Cheese) who's main concern was always about my need for a wheelchair. He was on a mission from God to take it away.

Somewhere along near the end of my incarceration I begin to suspect that there would be some sort of court action taken in my case so I called my lawyer. Called her three times in fact. Never a peep. Much later I would discover how badly this little bit of legal negligence would come back to bite me in the ass.

I began to get sick near the end of my stay. My problems included a sore throat and persistent cough, severe skin rash, sore shoulder and questions about my medication. I first requested to see a Dr. on April 15. Asked again on April 18th. Ask about Dr. again on April 21. Never saw a Dr. until I got back home. Went to the CRMC Emergency Room and was diagnosed with Bronchitis.

Prior to my dismissal I attended a meeting with the whole psychiatric staff and a social worker from Four-County. They told me how it was going to be which included cleaning up my house, taking my medication, attending D&A counseling at Four County and NO DRINKING.

Eventually my release day came and my brother drove up to take me home. The staff gave me a small supply of the various medications and two prescriptions to be filled later.

Then we loaded up and headed South leaving the Land of Enchantment behind, but I carried with me a tote sack full of suspicions, doubts and regrets. Also I forgot to ask about my B-B gun.